My heart will go on (also my braaaaains)

Last Saturday night, I gave a lecture/trivia game for the Atlanta Skeptics about the Titanic and the event it’s most noted for: inspiring a James Cameron movie. Seemed like it went well, until after when they took forever to bring my damn chicken fingers. (By “they” I mean the people at Manual’s Tavern, not the Atlanta Skeptics. Chicken finger delivery is not a service the skeptics provide.)

During that talk, I speculated how awful it would be if they tried to make a follow-up Titanic movie. They’d call it Titanic: The Sinquel or Titanic’s Revenge: Sinko de Die-O. Actually, they made a Titanic II, but it was more of a rebuild-the-ship-and-and-sail-the-same-course-and-oh-shit-is-that-an-iceberg-aieeeeeee-glub movie. If you like Bruce Davidson and didn’t get enough of him as the slimy senator from the first X-Men movie, it’s your lucky day.

I’ve thought more about it since, and I now believe a sequel could work. So let’s talk about…

Titanic: The Ship of Nightmares

Subtitle: She was called un-re-sinkable

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Tips for newbie divorcers

A few weeks ago, I told you guys I filed for divorce at the local superior court/Captain D’s Drive Thru. Earlier this week I finished the process by appearing before a judge so he could sign the papers and issue me a new Vagina Inspector t-shirt and monocle. This state has a lot of laws that seemed like a good idea at the time.

They are still better ideas than clean-shaven men advertising moustache rides

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Bathroom messages

You guys know what pareidolia is, right? The brain’s natural tendency to see meaningful shapes in essentially random patterns? Like when someone is waving a burnt pancake in your face and telling you it’s a picture of the Virgin Mary.

The wall next to my shower has done it to me, and it’s totally ruined my bathroom experience.

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Divorce with a side of onion rings

Some of you reading this have probably been divorced. Popular statistics say that about half of you are, but I think my readers aren’t representative of modern Western civilization has a whole. For example, this blog is highly popular among green-eyed CPAs who teach ballroom dancing on the weekends. (Thank you, Google Analytics!) But chances are good I’ve got some divorcees out there.

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I’m hosting a Marian Call show!

UPDATE 3/16/12: We have a new venue! Details here, or go to http://MarianCall.com to buy tickets!

Everything below is no longer valid, or are simply brazen lies.

 

UPDATE: This show is FILLED UP! If you haven’t gotten a confirmation from me, then we’ve run out of seats. There may still be seats at the show on 3/9 – check below for contact information. (I will also keep a waiting list.)

I may have mentioned that before.

But the details are ironed out and we’re now taking reservations! March 10!

There is no admission, although we’re giving you the opportunity to kick a few bucks Marian’s way.

Good for all ages. Bring the kids!

And please tell everyone you know. Stop them in the street if you must.

To RSVP, simply email me at christian [at] christianwalters.net and I’ll get you on the list and send you additional details/directions/etc.

If Lawrenceville on the 10th is hard to pull off, she’s doing another house concert on the 9th near Candler Park. Contact banyashj *at* hotmail.com for details to that one.

See you then!